“Not equal to
Not metaphor
Nor standing for
Not sign.” – Minor White
Imagine
Beetle Bailey’s surprise.
As
Aldous Huxley said, perhaps Earth is another planet’s Hell. And maybe on that
other planet, gargantuan people sit down with their oil drum vats of coffee,
butter their big-as-car bagels, and open their 12-foot Sunday newspapers to
find human Earth lives splayed above the fold as comic strips, our daily living
played out for their amusement and edification in frames of our own choosing,
and sometimes in boxes we wouldn’t choose—those defined by cancer, leukemia,
dementia, racism, jealousy, hatred, boredom, inhumanity, wrong choices, name
your fear, your awful regret, get inside that tiny box we draw for ourselves
sometimes.
But
comic strips are, by definition, funny. Aren’t they?
What
if life’s trials and tribulations are really the panels of comic strips, acting
themselves out? What if my whole life is a comic strip of sorts, storyboarded
out – if not ahead of time – then as is it happening or after the fact,
creating a visual representation of me, my choices, my unfortunate hairstyles
through the years (um, that perm of my very thick orange hair in high school,
hello? Block Head? Helmet Hair? Unfortunate?), all the fuzzy complicated parts
made blankly clear, leaving just the
core elements in black and white (and sometimes colorized for emphasis).
Life
is complex; comic strips usually aren’t, a fact that might lead you to believe
that the one can’t fit in the other. I think it can.
Comic
strips reduce life to its essential elements – the black and white of it, the
sense of it, the life within a definite container, where things stand out in
either the foreground or background, bounded by sure lines. No, I can’t recall
ever seeing a comic strip drawn in the manner of those wacky Pointillists—instead,
the lines are clear and sometimes bold, not dotted, not tentative, the captions
provided in the precise hand of an architect, so boxy and neat and imminently
readable.
What
would I change about my day, my year, my life, if I thought it was being
captured in broad strokes, my grumpy morning without coffee, my flash of
impatience when Tess screams up a lung as I pray she’ll take a nap, my
avoidance of the laundry piles, light and dark and undecided—what would it look
like in black and white, my head in my hands, my messy desk, my forehead
furrowed in disbelief or judgment, the way my body moves through the universe,
those sometimes unfortunate clothing choices—white shoes after Labor Day? What
was I thinking!? Would I eat Emma’s last Raspberry Frosted Pop Tart, made with
“Real Fruit” and Sprinkles, if I knew you’d see it all drawn out in a big
frame? Probably not pretty; certainly not flattering, no Pop Tart, no. It would
be like living in the Big Brother House, life as a reality show without all the
bikinis, looking for a way to avoid the cameras so I could sneak a scowl, a
tiny mid-day nap, a respite from keeping track of my intake of high antioxidant
veggies.
What
would your life look like as a comic strip? What about you would provide that
distinguishing characteristic—your hair, those glasses, the ever present pencil
over your ear, that cigarette or Twinkie, a large watch to symbolize your
obsession with time, an oversized mouth to represent how much you talk, an
omnipresent briefcase, a Blackberry fused into your thumbs? Would your comic
strip be heavy or light, fun or ponderous, full of adventure or boring as hell?
Would it be in black and white or in color? Would there be lots of “POW,
CRUNCH, SHABAM! SPLAT!!”? What big Truth would it reveal about you, about Life,
as most strips do in their own unique way? Would your character change over
time or remain steadfastly the same, frame after frame?
Watching
his mom get her chemotherapy treatment one day, Brian Fies began drawing her
and realized that her journey through metastatic lung cancer was to be
documented, with her help, in the way he knew how—as a graphic novel. Mom’s
Cancer, as one reviewer put it, leaves readers “shocked by the level of
honesty that was put into the work. This is not a story that sugar-coats the
emotions and thoughts of the storyteller, they're all there for the reader to
experience. This is brave, compelling storytelling…”
Shocked
also, perhaps, by the juxtaposition of this form with this subject matter, his book
takes readers to places they have never been, or if they have been there, it provides
a déjà vu journey that not only reminds but also consoles them – that they did
all the right things, the only things they knew to do; most importantly, they
hung in there for the terrible journey. Fies’ book will be published next
spring; his 66-year-old mother, Barbara, died on October 1st, just a
few weeks ago.
I
first read his moving and honest and clear story three days ago on the one-week
anniversary of the death of a young woman leaving behind her three small children
to long for her their whole lives. Tara’s long and awful and clarifying journey
left its indelible mark on me, and took the ultimate toll on her and on those
babies and everyone else who loved her, a family left behind to look at the
blank space where she used to be and will never be again, her children changed
forever by her giving birth to them, by watching them with what must have been
a heart broken by the leaving, less than a year after the youngest was born, a
miracle baby, that one.
[Rant to self: Yes, I know
that every week many people suffer and die, and many too young like Tara—before the living they
deserved was up. Too young, too soon, too hard, too much, too awful, too
infuriating. I just wonder why good people with big love-filled hearts die when
there are so many old bad ones, ones that have survived too many years of cold
heartedness and pettiness and are still above ground. Ones who hate before
loving and who blame before helping, who take before giving and belittle before
saving, those ones. They’re still here, while Tara isn't. And I wonder how we can send people to the moon, put thousands of songs into an iPod Nano, pinpoint a building from miles away and send a scud missile through one specific window of it, talk to people 15,000 miles away, figure out how to map the human genome, watch Paris Hilton act out, and rehabilitate Martha Stewart at taxpayer's expense, but can't cure cancer. How is that possible?]
What
was remarkable about Tara’s journey toward death was the hope and joy
and energy and love that emanated from her family’s emailed updates. The most
terrible of information was framed in the very strongest of faith; so much so
that it was both invigorating and almost confusing at the same time—how bad
could it be with such light and glory and grace emanating from it? Surely she
would live.
But
not, because it was bad, very bad. It was so bad that she is gone now, that
smile, that joy, that mom. But it appeared from this distance—this safely
immune place where I heard that worst of news in the pristine and antiseptic medium
of email, opening messages only at my leisure—how dare I?—that Tara and her
family responded with unlimited peace and grace in the midst of the agony and pain,
that living testimony giving us all hope, a gift. I’m the one left wondering
now why so many rude and arrogant and self-centered people live on while
someone so young and loving is gone, I’m the one who is angry, I’m the one who
shouldn’t miss her, but feels the loss, not only of her, but of a tiny part of
myself with her. Perhaps I’m journeying with her to finally learn the lessons
begun with my father’ death,
lessons I hope will stick this time, for their sake, for mine.
As
Fies wrote in “Mom’s
Cancer,” “when people face an emergency, they just become more of what they already are, like
they get superpowers” (comic strip
images used by permission of Brian Fies).
So,
if people are arrogant jerks before they face an emergency, they are Super
Jerks during. If they are hysterical and needy and selfish and whiny and
inflexible before, those beloved character traits explode into sheer inutterable
glory during. If they are loving and generous before, they will be loving and
generous caregivers; if they are avoiders and shirkers before, they will be
caregivers who turn away. And if, like Tara, they are kind and loving
and big-hearted and giving before, they are so much more of that during the
crisis, which is what I saw come shining through those emails.
What
Superpower costume is hanging in your closet for those Amplified Moments of
Life? What big letter will be on the front of your spandex when the crisis
comes? I want mine to be a slimming rich maroon number with a floor-length crushed
velvet cape swinging behind me, an extravagance of sumptuous textures, a floppy
hat the size of an ottoman and jewelry “borrowed” from my neighbor, Pam, for
those special occasions (smile), a big “W” or “K” or “Pippi”
on my chest. (No, not that W). You?
A
man from Jerusalem wrote
recently about storyboarding his life: “A storyboard is an apt metaphor for
how we make sense of our own life history. Storyboarding can be used to sense
emergent patterns in our own life story and to envision the life experiences
that we wish to welcome into our future.” To see the patterns
and to create new ones, the spoken and the unspoken ones.
~*~ 37 Days:
Do it Now Challenge ~*~
Download some
storyboard templates and start creating
your life’s comic strip. What will you call it? What are the daily frames
of your strip? What’s your costume look like? How’s that flattering Spandex
doing?
By the way, who’s drawing your comic strip, anyway?
Take back the pen. Draw it yourself.
Make it what you want it to be.
(And how many frames are already completed in your
comic strip? If we all get 20 frames, how many have you used so far? What are
you going to do with the rest of them?)
Remember Tara.She won’t have died in vain if you use her story to catapult
yourself into your Superpower life today, not tomorrow. Remember her and hug
the ones you love more tightly. She deserves that honor, that remembrance, that
bit of influence in our lives, even those who will never know her. Keep her
children in your hearts.
Thank you for posting.
Posted by: Michael Wagner | 26 October 2005 at 09:11
i noticed that Rilke is on your reading list. i highly approve! not that you needed my approval, anyway ... he, he, he ....
c
Posted by: caroline | 26 October 2005 at 22:31
Caroline - Rilke is high on my list. My favorite poem of his is The Archaic Torso of Apollo...yours?
Posted by: patti digh | 29 October 2005 at 12:19
I love this storyboarding idea. Not the first time I've thought of it--but previously thought of in terms of storyboarding a life as film...hadn't occurred to me to storyboard as a comic strip. Brilliant. As I thought about downloading the template, I could feel one of my earliest fears rise to the surface like an Alien monster..."But I can't draw!" Maybe if I stop saying that, I could. :)
Posted by: Marilyn | 26 November 2005 at 13:18
Thanks for your inspiring ideas!
My 'Storyboard your Life' essay is now available here:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/3778216/Storyboard-Your-Life
Posted by: Avi Solomon | 13 September 2008 at 18:25