37days

Retreat to move forward

Sometimes in the madness of our lives what we really need is a quiet space on 63 acres of rolling land in the mountains of North Carolina, a moment to look at our life's stories, to learn from them, and to re-story ourselves.

I'll hold only one public retreat this year, from September 26-28, 2008, near Asheville, North Carolina. I would love for you to be there. It won't be the same without you.

Participants will be the first to receive my new book, LIFE IS A VERB, which won't hit bookstore shelves until October.

We'll explore six conditions for intentional, mindful living as a small learning community in a beautiful space. We'll eat organic vegetarian food cooked on site for us by a Kitchen Goddess. We'll laugh. We'll leave refreshed and connected and more.

Information is here, including details on our 2008 full scholarship for a single parent to attend.

Unfortunately, we are limited to only 20 participants, so early registration is advised as participation is on a first-come, first-reserved, basis.

Welcome to 37days...

At some point in our lives, we’ll all just have thirty-seven days to live. Maybe that day is today. Maybe not.

There are new, interesting eyes (and, presumably, whole faces) peeking into 37days recently—many as a result of this site being newly noted as a TypePad Featured Blog.

Thanks, TypePad! What a wonderful surprise and honor...

Welcome. Look around. Poke into the archives. I hope you’ll find something of interest and, perhaps, of meaning to you and your life. Why 37days? That answer can be found here.

Arriving to a blog in progress is sometimes like entering a parlor, late, after everyone else has already arrived and is deep in a heated discussion, a conversation too hot for them to pause and catch you up, just as Kenneth Burke imagined in his gorgeous metaphor of an unending conversation. “If fact,” he writes, “the discussion had already begun long before any of them got there, so that no one present is qualified to retrace for you all the steps that had gone before. You listen for a while, until you decide that you have caught the tenor of the argument; then you put in your oar… However, the discussion is interminable. The hour grows late, you must depart. And you do depart, with the discussion still vigorously in progress.”

Come, let's ride brightly painted inner tubes, you and I

If you have watched TV commercials for the new teeniny microscopic MacBook Air, perhaps you will recognize this song by Yael Naim. Come, let's ride brightly painted inner tubes, play cymbals in a field of sunflowers, sing with a gorgeous Israeli-French accent, and realize that there is a whole big world out there, ripe for the dancing and for the floating. That's real air.

Freeze

I just love this. Love it. Art everywhere.

[seen here first]

J is for jijnasu

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -Carl Sagan

In 2008, I want to be a jijnasu, a seeker of wisdom, an inquirer.

When I was preparing to talk with Billy Collins the other day (doesn’t that sound casual?), Mr Brilliant was holding the paper bag while I hyperventilated, metaphorically speaking, helping me think about what questions I wanted to ask the dear poet of my dreams.

“Ask him what his favorite word is,” he said, excitedly. Mr Brilliant is a great cataloguer of such information.

I blinked at him.

Tess ran by. “Tess!” he shouted as she sped by. “What’s your favorite word?”

“WHY!” she yelled without stopping, making a tiny circular path from living room to family room to dining room and back. Just as Mr Brilliant started to answer her, she shouted again: “WHY IS MY FAVORITE WORD!”

He beamed.

“What a fantastic favorite word,” he murmured, contentedly. “You should tell Billy Collins that ‘why’ is your four-year-old’s favorite word.”

I blinked at him.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll do that right after I pass out when he answers the phone.”

With gratitude for this intentional community

We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race. -Cicero

As this third year of 37days ends, I’ve spent this last week reading again the comments left on this site in 2007—and visiting the websites of their authors, as well as re-reading the hundreds of emails I’ve received from 37days readers these past twelve months, each telling a story, holding me up, helping me understand things I hadn’t seen before. And for that, my gratitude, my thanks.

To everyone who has emailed me directly, my thanks to you. It is a gift to hear from you about how my stories have held meaning for you, and to hear your own stories—and to acknowledge how similar our journeys are, after all. And to the people below who posted comments on 37days in 2007, my thanks again for engaging, for leaving words of wisdom for us all to ponder and learn from. So much of the charm of Blog World comes from our serendipitous “findings”; perhaps in this list, if you dip into the links, you’ll find whole new worlds of insight from wonderful writers and thinkers and human beings becoming. I hope I haven’t missed anyone; if I have, let me know and please accept my apologies. With thanks for your engagement with me in this exploration of life; you give me so much:

Marilyn, Dan, Carolyn, Catherine, Nicole, Gay, Sarah, Leanne (may she rest in peace--Leanne passed away this year at age 48 after a brief illness), Mr Brilliant, Christy, Andy, Kismet, Marcia, Katie, Carol, Joy, Esther, Shelley, Ferruty, Theresa, Chris, Joy K, RedSonja, Aurora, Betsy, Franky, Sue, Karrie, Heidi, Elizabeth, Deirdre, Cate, Nicholas, Tana, Wendy, Mel, Cynthia, Jane Poe, Pearl, Hilde, Melanie, Kim, Jeff, Denise, runliarun, Mardougrrl, Dan, Liesl, Sally, vanesscipes, Jylene, Bill, Diana, Tracy, Michael, Shawn, Maryam in Marrakesh, Sebastian, Mahima, Meg, Sognatrice, Jasper, Jackie, Ellouise, Shelley, Anitha, Danielle, Bob, Nikki, Andrea, Eliza, Chris K., Josiane, Pete A., Robert, Leah, Karen, Carmen, Ruby, Donna T., Brenda L., Robert, Kelly, Jill, Becca, Clem, Carla, Tori, Mary, Roberta, Lisa G., Kelly, Lyco, David, SL, Julie, Meg, Nina, Chris B., Kay, Ro, RDL, Shonnie, Kylie, Lydia, David Z., David D., Colleen, Writerbug, Michelle, JCR, terrilynn, Angelfeet, Mary M., iswan, Kate I, Adele W., eb, Lela, Grace T., AdriftAtSea, Virginia P., Martha A., Shephard, Marcia, Zoely, Callipygia, Shannon, Carolyn, M-S, Marie, Stella, Jim, ChelleR, Catherine, inlandempiregirl, The Purloined Letter, Viaggiatore, Kurt, Barbara, Lisa G., Kelly Rae, Lisa, Lucy, Maggie, Laura, David Z., Boadicea, Donna S., janewilk, Sue M., Heather R., Nicole, Howard H., Kat, Brain, Per Stromsjo, Paul T., Becca, Teresa, Red, SSH, thodarumm, t, Kikipotamus the Hobo, Miss G Marshall, Timothy, Eva, k, Laurel, Midwest Kitchen, Maura, Alexander, JL, jana, Melissa, Callipygia, Emma W., John, Amy, Roger von Oech, Jim Ley, aileen, Ann Moore, amy, m, tali, vfa, Emily, Dawn, tallulah, Terri, Frivolitea, Lill, Debra Roby, Dean, Pia K, Granny Sue, Timothy Johnson, Jay River, Michael Wagner, Lela Davidson, Tim Davies, Roselyn, Anitha, Ramona, david cooper, Andy, Rosemary a.k.a. Ms. Marshall, Kate, Rick, Leia Lona, Allan Smithee, Beth, Sergio Fucchi, Christine Martell, Katiebean, K, Marica Sevelj, Fey, Margery Glickman, Emily, Betsey, Becky, Brandi, Deborah, Adriaan, Bill Mea, Richard Atkinson, grace, T., Meta Hara, Julie, Megan, Priscilla Palmer, Joh, Steve Sherlock, Terri, carolee, Amy McCracken, ellouise, Roger, Shelley Dickerson, Lill Hawkins, Radiant woman, Raquel Xamani Icart, maddie, Roberta Youtan Kay, Carmen, Esther, Catherine, Mary Anne, Ann Moore, Toni, Chelsea, Kim Moser, Karen (Lion and Magic Boy), Jack Yan, blue girl, ren.kat, Chris, Shula, Mike Duffy, rebecca, Sara Gold, Jayne, Jennifer, Julie, david, Trish, Chris Bailey, Donna (kygirl), bee, Cate, Maxine Dangerous, tanaya, Lori Pelham Cobbs, Carla, Meg, Voice of Sanity, Susi, Kerstin, Carrine Langley, Jillian, Ann Torrence, Dean Fuhrman, Kris, Vera, Virginia W. Pence, Dr. Jillian T. Weiss, Joan Fowler, Nancy MacDonald, The Old Foodie, Jeannie, Lela, Susan, Gerry, mary castagnoli, Connie, Jeannie, Chris Corrigan, Jeris, Jeremy, Rita Cartwright, Danielle Keister, Christine Kane, Catherine Faherty, storyteller, Karynne Courts, kim, David B. Drake, Liz Plummer, Jill, jenclair, Tina Su, Judy, Kait, Sandy Renshaw, Tyn, Lela, Cindy Jones Lantier, NaughtsNCrosses, Nina, Princess Haiku, Wyanne, stephanie, Judith Green, sue, Susan, atticus, Joan, LLinda, e.beck, Kathryn Knoll, Talia, Callie, Viv McWaters, Nancy Bea, Amy Lenzo, Matt, Kelli Schwert, Victoria, Fred, Tawanda, Dawn, colleen, Jeris, Nancy, Caren, John Maver, piscesgrrl, dandelionseeds, Cat, Dave Pollard, Carrie K, lawyerpoet, Betsy Hilt, Katie Green, Ronnie Brown, Sharon, t -rae, Donna, Joh, Barbara D., Karen...

Shall we continue the conversation on the other side of 2007, in 2008 and beyond? Let's.

[sculpture from here]

Becoming Larger Than Our Skin Allows

And no, that title isn't a reference to overeating.

In the U.S., today is Thanksgiving Day (and my friend Karrie Manson's birthday, so a shout out to her for being so powerful that the nation stops when she ages). This year, I'm not spending Thanksgiving at a long table full of vegan alternatives to turkey, but hunched over a computer screen like a madwoman, panicked at my book deadline next week and snarking at my family when they breathe too loudly. What was I thinking?, I'll be thinking, in one of those beautiful infinite regresses of thinking, the fear that emerges from finality, essays congealed into book form.

Soon, I'm sure I'll give in to the overwhelming urge to eat cranberry sauce from a can, as detailed last year this time on 37days,and will pop the Tofurky into the oven. But not before being thankful, and deeply so, for all of you who come here and read my few words and email and comment and hold me up when I'm falling. My deepest thanks.

My glorious friend Sid Jordan sent a Thanksgiving message this morning that I'd like to share with you this fine day. Let us lift each other up.

Becoming Larger Than Our Skin Allows

We seek metaphors
To describe our friendships
But alas, even these fall short of our true emotions
So we joke, tell stories, and hold each other
Accepting the inner weaving of our connections
As part of the evolving tapestry of our lives

What is amazing to me
Is how little it takes to impact another human being
In profound and deep ways
Simply by being present
By witnessing each others stories
By honoring each others thoughts and feelings

It is physically possible to lift each other up
And hold each other under a starlit sky
Enough to feel the power of the universe enfold us
Wrapping us up with simultaneous feelings of love and immensity
Yes, we are only a speck in the whole of things
Yet, our love mingled with the love of others
Is more immense than we can ever intellectually know

Our ability to tap into the collective energy of the world
Allows us to transcend our language
Each of us becoming larger than our skin allows
Each of us finding power
From the source of our humility and awe
But mostly from each other
As our hands work to lift each other higher

-Doc Klein

Start a diversity bookclub

In any community, there are diversity issues - the natives vs the newcomers, race issues that pit black against white, gay and straight clashes, classism - and often, we're not equipped to talk about them. Dialogue that approaches the issues head-on sometimes is too difficult, we avoid it, or we talk "at" rather than "with" those we perceive to be different from ourselves. We demonize the other and try to prove them wrong rather than understand their point of view. We don't bridge, but create both metaphoric and literal gated communities instead.

Can literature help?

Retreat to move forward

Sometimes we have to retreat to move forward.

The next 37days retreat is scheduled for September 28-30, 2007, and registration has just opened for it. Limited to 14 people, I hope you can be one of them. I'll be joined by my business partner, David Robinson, in facilitating the weekend retreat. He's magical and brings so much to the gathering. Plus, we laugh a lot.

September 28-30, 2007  / MIND THE GAP: The Power of Personal Stories

[A 37days Retreat]

“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.” -James M. Barrie

If you had only 37 days to live, would you feel happy with the story you have lived thus far? How would you express that story, learn from it, leave it for others? Those are the fundamental questions behind this blog and the grounding for this unique, experiential weekend gathering focused on unmasking our personal stories to achieve greater creativity, healthier relationships, and fuller engagement in what poet Mary Oliver calls our “one wild and precious life.”

Often, there is a gap between how we wish to be seen and who we really believe ourselves to be, between the story we meant to write and the one we’ve written so far. This gap mutes the colors of our lives and inhibits the quality of our engagements with other people—in our families, our organizations, our communities. Maintaining that gap diminishes our creative impulse and often splits our intentions. Why, then, don’t we do more to shorten that distance and mind that gap?

This unique Gathering will explore these questions:
How do we make meaning of our lives through story? What are the stories we tell ourselves about others? About ourselves? How do those stories reduce us? What learning and significances are right in front of us, in the stories of our days? How can we summon the courage to move beyond the limits of who we think we are into what we were meant to be? How can we relinquish our “role” in order to discover who we might be beneath the mask?  What treasures can be found in the in-between space between me and you, between perception and preconception, between my Self and the Other?

We’ll explore concepts such as:  Life as a finite or an infinite game, intention and direction, wicked problems & tame solutions, and naming our vicious and virtuous circles, those patterns that either reduce us or allow us to live expansively.

Learning Activities / We will: 

• Use improv theatre, ritual, metaphor, mask, story, writing, and other narrative tools
• Explore “role” and other expressive personal and organizational “masks”
• Be 85% experiential--not in the sense of simulations or role plays—but as unmasked engagement with others
• Invite participants to extract meaning from experiences as a collaborative learning community
• Use focused free writes to help participants frame experiences in their own language for deeper exploration
• Experience how changing ourselves can deeply impact our families, communities and organizations.

Here's what people had to say about the last 37days retreat:

“You created a safe environment for valuable learning.”

“I loved the gentle humor that developed in the group, the inclusive quality of the experience, and the practical writing techniques that I’ve probably encoded into my cells.”

“You don’t facilitate as if to say ‘we are the leaders.’ You’re great at taking cues from the group.”

“The story you wove through the whole weekend was masterful and amazing.”

“Your facilitation is beautifully collaborative.”

“Your ability to bring movement and play into the experience, and at the same time, relate that play to deeper concepts, was truly a pleasure to experience and to watch.”

“I appreciate all the thought, caring, and preparation you put into making the retreat weekend transformational for all of us.”

 Cost / To honor the impulse of giving behind 37days, this retreat is offered for a reduced fee of $475-775 inclusive of tuition, materials, housing, and all meals. Please pay what you can in that range.

Location / Our 2007 retreats will be held at the Bend of Ivy Lodge in Asheville, North Carolina. Go here for more information and registration forms for this and other 2007 retreats (PDF).

We'd love to have you join us there. It won't be the same without you.

With gratitude for the ampersand

"I am a part of all that I have met." - Tennyson

The end of a year brings closure of many kinds. Some involve owning what didn’t get done that year; others involve thankfulness, still others center on the celebration of things accomplished, friendships deepened, things and people let go of, even.

As this second year of 37days ends, I spent today reading again the comments left on this site in 2006, as well as the hundreds of emails I’ve received from 37days readers these past twelve months, each telling a story, holding me up, helping me understand things I hadn’t seen before. And for that, my gratitude, my thanks.