37days

Run into the bamboo thicket in your jammies

What if it was your job to help everyone else succeed? – David Robinson

Tess got a small package in the mail a few weeks ago.

Its arrival alone (regardless of the content) was cause for some serious celebration in our house.

In fact, mail is such a Big Deal in Our Home that the best five dollars I ever spent was at a consignment shop—a blue plastic standalone mail box that now sits at the bottom of the stairs going up to Tess’ room. When that tiny plastic red flag goes up, all hell breaks loose.

MAIL! I GOT MAIL! I HAVE MAIL! OH YE-AH, OH YE-AH, she screams as she shimmies from side to side like Bob Fosse in All That Jazz.

So that afternoon, she wandered past the front door, noticed the tiny plastic red mailbox flag was in its upright and locked position, and started screaming up a lung.

She pulled out a padded envelope that was covered in magic. Pictures of fairies covered the front and back. “WHO’S IT FROM? WHO’S IT FROM?” she screamed.

I looked at the return address: “It’s from… it’s from… Llilleloo of the North Fern Pond?” I cocked my head, quizzically, like we so often see cartoon characters do or actors with only one way to express curiosity.

“Llilleloo of the North Fern Pond?!?” she asked, taking the package in her tiny hands, and turning it quietly over and over again. There were Mickey Mouse postage stamps and pictures of fairies on lily pads. She looked at me intently. “I never KNEW that fairies were REAL!” she said intently, with VERY WIDE EYES. “I NEVER KNEW THAT FAIRIES WERE REAL!” she said very slowly, looking at me with those big eyeballs locked onto mine.

She ripped into the package to find a letter FROM A REAL FAIRY (eyes wide open) and a beautiful, tiny, glass kaleidoscope necklace with sparkles that float and shimmer.

A few months ago, I wrote about Tess seeing a fairy in the Botanical Gardens during an educational program there. (She was supposed to find signs of living creatures—and she did, though the leaders of the group were skeptical.)

After reading that post, a woman named Nancy MacDonald wrote to tell me about being a fairy for two little girls. “I am their fairy friend - they named me "Daisey" and they are quite certain that there is a whole community of fairies that visits the bamboo thicket behind Chris' house, but that I have an extra special relationship with them. 

“The fairies learned when the girls’ birthdays are,” she wrote, “and on each special day, baked and delivered (to the bamboo thicket) heart-shaped, made-from-scratch chocolate cakes with flowers on top.” The fairies also made magic wands for the girls for the winter holidays. She sent a picture of the girls on Christmas day, opening their presents from the fairies. “They RAN from their house in their jammies when I knocked on their door and announced that there was a white box in the bamboo thicket and that I thought it might be from the fairies,” Nancy explained.

The fairies left a note for the girls, explaining the requirements for humans to be able to connect with the fairies, rules we might all follow:

Dear Sweet Emma & Lora ~

It’s COLD in the bamboo thicket!
We have been visiting warmer places, but think of you often.

You asked if we have a book of spells to give you. We don’t. What we can do is share with you some of the ways we have felt or seen magic . . .

It’s in the rocks, the pieces of glass, the flower & moss and the humming bird nest we shared with you. And it’s in the dreams we have as we sleep near the dream catcher you gave us. And the music we hear in the moss you gave us. It’s in the joy we feel when we find a new note from you – knowing you believe in us.

Fairies have some very special requirements that humans must meet in order to connect with us.  These include:

1.    The human must be free. This does not mean that you don’t have responsibilities. It means that you must have a creative mind.
2.    The human must be open – open to new ideas & possibilities & to the wonder & magic all around us.
3.    The human must be generous in dealing with others. The ability to be kind is one of the strongest tests used in the fairy realm. This means you must always be ready to perform a kindness. Compassion for all forms of life (human, fairy, animal or vegetable) is very important!
4.    The human must be courteous and respectful.
5.    The human must be truthful in word & deed. A fairy’s word or promise is pure and they expect that the human word will be, too.

So here is one of our favorite fairy poems. It’s about magic. We hope that you will enjoy saying (or singing) it as much as we do. Make up your own tune!

Magic is as magic does
It’s in your hearts and always was
Take care to think the kindest thought
And then your magic good has wrought.
Our friends do magic fingers snap
Goulies by the gashen gap
Fairies by the fairen flap
Witches by the wizen wrap
Elfin by the shivers sap
Tolls and trogs do trouble trap
(and only good can come of that!)

We wish for you
    Sweet dreams ~
    Happy days ~
All the love & Magic your hearts can hold                 

The Fairies

What does a fairy look like in every day life, I wonder? In the case of Llilleloo of the North Fern Pond, it looks a lot like Edie Evans, a high school classmate of mine who, though I haven’t seen her in 30 years, sent Tess magic via the U.S. Postal Service. In the case of the bamboo thicket, it looks a lot like Nancy MacDonald. Whose fairy are you? What do you do that sends them dashing to the bamboo thicket in their jammies? What fairies can you allow yourself to believe in?

If you were dying, would you hug more freely?

My thanks to Mari Gonzalez who sent this to me. You might remember Emma's "Free Hugs" experiment. Here it is in a slightly different context. Some things are universal.

If you were dying, would you hug more freely? You are dying. You just don't know when. Hug, hug.

I is for inside looking

Man need only divert his attention from searching for the solution to external questions and pose the one, true inner question of how he should lead his life, and all the external questions will be resolved in the best possible way. - Leo Tolstoy

In 2008, I will end each day by inside looking.

Naikan (nye-kahn) is a Japanese word which means €œinside looking€ or œintrospection€--seeing oneself with the mind's eye. Naikan is a structured self-reflection developed by Yoshimoto Ishin, a devout Buddhist of the Jodo Shinshu sect in Japan.

Naikan offers three questions for us to ask and answer:

What have I received from others?

What have I given to others or given back to others?

What trouble and bother have I caused them?

Becoming Larger Than Our Skin Allows

And no, that title isn't a reference to overeating.

In the U.S., today is Thanksgiving Day (and my friend Karrie Manson's birthday, so a shout out to her for being so powerful that the nation stops when she ages). This year, I'm not spending Thanksgiving at a long table full of vegan alternatives to turkey, but hunched over a computer screen like a madwoman, panicked at my book deadline next week and snarking at my family when they breathe too loudly. What was I thinking?, I'll be thinking, in one of those beautiful infinite regresses of thinking, the fear that emerges from finality, essays congealed into book form.

Soon, I'm sure I'll give in to the overwhelming urge to eat cranberry sauce from a can, as detailed last year this time on 37days,and will pop the Tofurky into the oven. But not before being thankful, and deeply so, for all of you who come here and read my few words and email and comment and hold me up when I'm falling. My deepest thanks.

My glorious friend Sid Jordan sent a Thanksgiving message this morning that I'd like to share with you this fine day. Let us lift each other up.

Becoming Larger Than Our Skin Allows

We seek metaphors
To describe our friendships
But alas, even these fall short of our true emotions
So we joke, tell stories, and hold each other
Accepting the inner weaving of our connections
As part of the evolving tapestry of our lives

What is amazing to me
Is how little it takes to impact another human being
In profound and deep ways
Simply by being present
By witnessing each others stories
By honoring each others thoughts and feelings

It is physically possible to lift each other up
And hold each other under a starlit sky
Enough to feel the power of the universe enfold us
Wrapping us up with simultaneous feelings of love and immensity
Yes, we are only a speck in the whole of things
Yet, our love mingled with the love of others
Is more immense than we can ever intellectually know

Our ability to tap into the collective energy of the world
Allows us to transcend our language
Each of us becoming larger than our skin allows
Each of us finding power
From the source of our humility and awe
But mostly from each other
As our hands work to lift each other higher

-Doc Klein

Release a dove for Meta

Dear Friends,

Meta's story touched many people. Her too-young death and the extraordinary leave-taking given to her by her family and friends brought lessons and insights to me, to many.

On February 25th at 5pm EST, her family and friends will gather in the mountains to release a dove in memory of Meta and in celebration of her 21st birthday, which will be the next day.

I'll be too far from home to join them, but have committed to Meta's mother, Mary Anne, that I will light a candle at that same time, to send energy to them all - and to the world - in Meta's memory. Please join me if you can in memorializing Meta and holding her family in peace and in love at 5pm EST on Sunday, February 25th. Mark your calendar, join me.

If you'd like to send a birthday greeting to Meta, leave a comment; I'll gather them all and send them to her family.

With gratitude for the ampersand

"I am a part of all that I have met." - Tennyson

The end of a year brings closure of many kinds. Some involve owning what didn’t get done that year; others involve thankfulness, still others center on the celebration of things accomplished, friendships deepened, things and people let go of, even.

As this second year of 37days ends, I spent today reading again the comments left on this site in 2006, as well as the hundreds of emails I’ve received from 37days readers these past twelve months, each telling a story, holding me up, helping me understand things I hadn’t seen before. And for that, my gratitude, my thanks.

Open your hand

“To receive everything, one must open one's hands and give.” –Taisen Deshimaru

“If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive.”  -Dorothee Solle

One of the wisest people I know is a man named Eliav Zakay from Israel, CEO of a national youth leadership program there and formerly with the Israel Defense Force Leadership Development School.