becoming bendy

my new mantra.

(photo from One Center Yoga website)

 

Here is my new mantra:

I am responsible for my own well-being.

- - - - - - - - -

1-31-11 and 2-1-11

Yoga: Oh, yes. I am in love with Yoga. Talk about bendy. That is bendy. Blissful, mindful, peaceful, challenging Yoga. A 90-minute class tonight (Feb 1) with Cindy Dollar at One Center Yoga. Stretched and conscious of the way my body is in the world. Challenging, beginning.

Gym: And oh, yes. 60 minutes at the gym yesterday (Jan 31): 12 minutes of cardio to warm up, then 12 sets of strength training: 2 arm exercises with a blue tube, lateral pull down (50 lbs), hip raises, split squats, benchpress, elbow planks (30 seconds!), squats with yoga strap.

I think it is easy, particularly if you're self conscious, to want to wait to go to an exercise class until you lose some weight. Not that I have personal experience with this (ahem, *cough*). Here's what I have learned by flinging myself in and not waiting: eating and exercising are related. The kind of attentiveness that comes with yoga and with my workouts at the gym is directly related to the decisions I am now making about food. Interrelated. One will help the other, so go.

Food:

I am making such good choices when I eat. Let me pat myself on the back for that. Eating when I am hungry, and not eating when I am not hungry. Lots of fruits, vegetables, fiber-full cereal, and an occasional piece of dark chocolate. Is there more to change? Yes, but I'm very happy with my start. It comes down to one decision, and then the next one. That's all.

one day at a time.

A trip to Louisville, just ended. I knew it would be a tight schedule, so I only planned to do 15 minutes of yoga a day while traveling, which I did. So much better than planning to work out for an hour and not doing it. I'm appreciating the realism of my approach now, and the fact that it is incremental. One day at a time, one healthy decision at a time. This feels so much better than a forced march toward thin, and so much more sustainable.

If you go to Louisville, Kentucky, eat at these two places: Ramsi's Cafe on the World and Lynn's Paradise Cafe. Oh,  yes.

- - - - -

1-27-11 through 1-29-11

Yoga: 15 minutes a day.

Gym: No.

Food:

I didn't keep a detailed food journal while traveling, but I did make note of the ways in which I changed my usual traveling food choices: taking Kind bars and almonds on the plane, choosing to drink water instead of sodas, limiting caffeine, choosing tomato soup and a salad for dinner when I got to my hotel after a long day, ensuring I didn't go without eating long enough to get shaky and incapable of making a good choice, choosing oatmeal instead of biscuits and gravy and not feeling deprived, eating only until I am full and not until the plate is empty. Oh, and I did eat a Biscoff cookie or two at 37,000 feet. Just to be polite.

prioritizing me.

If I want to become bendy, I have to make time for it like I make time for writing, eating, sleeping (I need more of that last one, too).

It takes a clear time frame marked on my daily schedule for exercise (with one and sometimes two days off per week). Not even a lot of exercise, if I'm traveling and know I'll only have 15 minutes, but a deliberate, intentional scheduling of what is realistic.

When that doesn't happen, other things take priority and suddenly it's time for dinner. And I can talk myself out of going out in the cold, dark evening to the gym in a heartbeat. And then a week has gone by.

Why is it so hard to prioritize ourselves?

How do you make time for yourself and exercise?

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1-26-11

Yoga: Yoga for 15 minutes at night

Gym: 20 minutes treadmill, 1 set of strength training (2 arm exercises, 2 core exercises)

Food:

Breakfast: One blood orange, one gala apple (chopped) and one kiwi (chopped and mixed with the apple). One cup of black coffee, and one cup of peppermint tea.

Snack: one Kind bar. I am partial to cranberry/almond and macadamia/apricot.

Lunch: A bowl of butternut squash soup. A glass of water.

Snack: 2 oz cheddar cheese, 1 handful of goldfish crackers

Dinner: 1 serving of whole wheat angel hair with marinara sauce, 1 glass of Co-cola (I'm from the South)

Snack: 1 clementine. 1 cup of peppermint hot tea.

yoga, i love you.

I went to my beginning yoga class tonight.

My new workout pants were too tight and I was all lumpy.

I was starting the class late, after they already had two weeks of class, and yet I went.

Truly, it was magical, stretchy hot wonder. Slow and mindful, very deliberate, I felt incredible when it ended.

I kept my focus on my own mat, and in that way gave up my feeling of lumpiness. It was just me, these hamstrings and shoulders and their shape didn't matter.

There is no way to do this and not have that mindfulness for each muscle and each move and each point of balance permeate the rest of my day.

I am proud of myself for going.

- - - - - -

1-25-11

Yoga: A 90-minute yoga class for beginners.

Gym: I had planned to go to the gym after yoga for 20 minutes on the treadmill. That was a bad idea. I was far too stretchy and blissed out, so I went home instead. I'm okay with that decision.

Food:

Breakfast: Breakfast with friends at Clingman Cafe, I had my usual: One biscuit with vegetarian gravy and a medium latte.

Lunch: One bowl of potato soup. Hot peppermint tea. Green Vibrance in apple juice.

Snack: One Kind bar.

Dinner: We hadn't eaten dinner before I had to leave for yoga, so I had an apple and a wedge of cheese, and hot peppermint tea. And felt completely sated.

Snack: 1 cup of Kashi 7 grain nuggets with milk and strawberries. Hot throat coat tea.

I'm back to bendy, finally.

Whew. That was a lot of sick, that was. And a lot of tired.

I went back to the gym today for the first time since I fell ill on my trip earlier this month.

Back to bendy. Still not very hungry, still a wee bit sick, but much better. Sometimes it's hard to know if working out will make sickness better or worse, isn't it?

I spent the last week sleeping and eating soup and drinking Throat Coat tea. I didn't have a taste for fresh fruit at all, and salad wasn't at all appetizing. I did drink some Coke--a comfort drink, or just because it was tasty and carbonated and I was fevery?

I've made out a workout schedule for this week, I've done the first workout, and I'm back to tracking my food.

• Monday - 10 minutes treadmill + 40 min. strength training (8 sets) + p.m. yoga (15 min)
  
• Tuesday - 20 minutes treadmill + yoga class (90 minutes)
  
• Wednesday - 20 minutes treadmill + 40 min. strength training (4-8 sets)
  
• Thursday - travel day (20 minutes treadmill if possible)
  
• Friday - a.m. yoga / p.m. yoga
• Saturday - travel day (a.m.yoga / p.m. yoga if possible)
  
• Sunday - a.m. yoga / 30 minutes treadmill

And I've lost 10 pounds.

- - - - - - - - -

1-24-11

Yoga: Rodney Yee a.m. yoga.

Gym: 10 minutes treadmill (3.1 mph) to warm up, then strength training: 2 arm exercises with blue tube, 20 split lunges each leg, 20 hip bridges (core), 25 lateral arm (50 pounds), 25 inclined benchpresses (12 pounds), 20 squats. It felt good to move again. The arm exercises in particular felt great for my shoulders. The lunges nearly killed me. I stopped before I got too tired, and felt just a tad shaky.

Food:

Breakfast: One Kind bar.

Lunch: 1 cup of Kashi 7 grain nuggets with milk.

Snack: 1 cup of garbanzo beans. Yum-ola!

Dinner: Tess decided she wanted to cook dinner tonight. She and John made up a recipe for delicious garbanzo bean "burgers." Glass of water with Green Vibrance. (I heartily recommend NOT drinking it in water - gaggy. I usually mix it in a cup of mango juice, but was out of juice). Cup of hot peppermint tea.

Snack: Tess and I used our happy Breville juicer to make an apple, banana, pear, green grapes, and lemon juice. Yum!

I still have that funny cold-like feeling where food doesn't taste right, and isn't all that appealing.                                           

sick bendy.

So. A bad cold, sore throat, croupy cough, and general fatigue. No time at the gym, lots of sleep--10 hours a day, plus naps. And high blood pressure, suddenly again. Three days this week at the doctor's office getting blood tests done.

Becoming bendy for the moment is in stasis. No food sounds good, tastes good. Even coffee doesn't sound good. I missed my yoga class, my time at the gym, pilates. All on hold.

Or perhaps all this is bendy, too. I just feel like I've lost momentum.

- - - - - - -

1-15-11 through 1-20-11

Yoga & Gym: Nope.

Food: Fruit for breakfast. Lots of hot tea. Soup. And repeat.

 

traveling un-bendy.

I had great intentions.

A week on the road. Atlanta ... Kearney, Nebraska ... Seattle. I have my workout clothes and shoes with me, my yoga DVD, a blue bendy tube.

First day out, a massive ice storm, and a six hour wait on a plane on the tarmac beside a delightful, yet sneezy man.

Days two through today (I'm still en route home) were spent sick, sick, sick, sick. So sick I felt like I had swallowed glass, like I couldn't muster the energy to talk to my seatmates.

And so I didn't work out. Not once.

I did sleep as much as I could. And I did a speech and two workshops. And I drank garlic tea. And coughed a lot. And cried when I swallowed.

So. I chose the nourishing path, the only one I could.

I did make the healthiest food choices I've ever made while traveling. That counts for something, doesn't it? Having healthy snacks on the 6 hour delayed flight really saved me. And since I couldn't swallow for a few days, I chose the healthiest soups I could find. And drank a lot of liquids.

Hopefully I will be finished with this illness soon. I'll start back at the gym as soon as I'm well.

traveling with fruits and vegetables and large men reading Eckhart Tolle.

Today I flew for the first time in 2011. My seatmate was a large man reading Eckhart Tolle.

Travel has been a "hot spot" for me in the past. I sometimes feel sorry for myself, stuck in innumerable airports, listening to loud heaters in anonymous hotel rooms. And this has been known to translate - shockingly - into bad food choices. Food, in such a way, is a consolation rather than fuel.

So this time, I was determined to have at hand only healthy choices. In my backpack I squirreled away sliced red pepper, celery, and fennel to munch on. Halved strawberries didn't fare so well. Tasty, but smooshed. A "gorp," as we used to call it when hiking, made of raisins, almonds, chopped dates, and sunflower seeds. Six clementines (addiction alert).  Edamame. And a box of Ak-mak crackers, which a nutritionist suggested to me almost 20 years ago. I also brought my beautiful water bottle, having completely sworn off of bottled water because of the environmental impact of all those plastic bottles.

I wasn't planning to eat all that today, but I knew I was flying into snow and that tomorrow at the airport would likely be a long day as I try to fly out to my next destination.

I snacked. Happily.

After my reading in Atlanta tonight, I was hungry. I realized that in the throes of travel and preparing to travel, I hadn't eaten a meal. And so I looked at the room service menu. Temptation. And yet I ordered a salad. It wins best room-service salad in the United States of America, fresh and tasty and surprising with fennel and raisin croutons that made me fall in love with them.

I made good choices today, and for that I am proud.

Here's what really rocks: noticing destructive patterns and planning ahead in order to help break them.

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1-9-11

Yoga - evening yoga, 15 minutes, in my hotel room.

Gym - nope. arrived, left within 5 minutes for a coffee date and book reading, back late, and very tired.

Food

Breakfast - a clementine

Snack - edamame

Lunch - Ak-mak crackers, veggies

Snack - edamame and celery sticks

Dinner - Salad: romaine, cherry tomatoes, small cheese triangles, fennel/raisin croutons (oh, my), lemon buttermilk ranch dressing (oh, my). Sam Adams beer.

Snack - none.

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[image from here]

soup.

Sick day. Snow day. Slow down day. Soup-making day. Taking care day.

Tess was quite sick today. The day became watchful.

No exercise except stretching, and no meditation except on fever.

What I do know is that a week into more mindful eating, I am eating more mindfully. Drinking a cup of hot herbal tea when I might have reached for an unhealthy snack a week ago. Drinking a glass of water before eating to ensure I'm not just thirsty and confusing it for hunger. Keeping fruits and vegetables in the house, and readily accessible. Buying healthy snacks for my trip tomorrow.

I made a soup of broccoli, spinach, ginger, onion, parsnip, and garlic today. Simple, and delicious. Green, green. (recipe link below in food section). What are some of your favorite vegetarian or vegan soups?

When you don't eat sugar, vegetables pop with taste. Red peppers are sweet, sweet. Dates are the perfect dessert. This is what I've noticed. A corner has been turned.

Now I must work on sleeping more.

- - - - - -

1-8-11

Yoga - My 3-hour "introduction to meditation" class was cancelled today because of snow. Instead, I meditated on a sick child whose fever climbed to 105, namely Tess. And I stretched.

Gym - See above.

Food -

Breakfast: 1 pink lady apple, chopped and mixed with 1 chopped banana. 1 mug of black coffee.

Snack: Sunflower seeds with raisins

Lunch: Wait. Did I eat lunch?

Snack: Medjool dates, rice crackers.

Dinner: Green detox soup with broccoli (made this today, and yum-ola). Edamame. 2 clementines. Hot tea.

Snack: Rice crackers. Medjool dates. Garlic tea. (to ward off getting sick myself)

create structures of belonging

Someone knocked on the door yesterday morning, around 10am. My hair was standing on top of my head like Don King. I was in my sweatpants and barefoot. I might have looked slightly crazed and a wee bit sleep deprived.

I went to the door anyway, opened it, and there stood Kate holding a beautiful glittery hula hoop.

Our kids go to the same school,  but I don't know Kate well. Turns out, she's been reading this blog and made the hula hoop for me to support my exercise plan. Just like that, out of the blue. Exercise should be fun, she simply said.

It occurred to me in that moment that there is great value in telling people about your dreams and aspirations to be bendy, to write more, to create art, to do whatever your heart desires. So they can help you and support you. And make you a hula hoop. Even those you don't know well, and perhaps particularly them because they're not invested in keeping you the same.

Create structures of belonging. Find a tribe. Tell them what you yearn for.

Thanks, Kate Brewer Fisher. I'm going to love hooping it up.

- - - - - - -

1-6-11

Yoga- Rodney Yee a.m. yoga.

Gym - I didn't get there. My schedule got in the way. Life got in the way. Navigating work and children got in the way. Is this the slippery slope? Perhaps.

Food - I'm allowing myself to not be full, to be slightly hungry, to feel and eat when I want, not when it is prescribed. I don't feel deprived or cranky; I'm not craving anything. It helps to be intentional and have fruit and vegetables in the house. Create those conditions for success.

Breakfast: One honeycrisp apple and one banana, chopped and mixed together. 1 mug of black coffee.

Snack: 1 slice of wheat walnut bread, toasted, with peanut butter. Water. Hot peppermint tea.

Lunch: 1 slice of wheat walnut bread, toasted, with peanut butter. Kalamata olives, a slice of cheddar cheese, and 2 clementines. Water.

Snack: Flour tortilla with hummus.

Dinner: Baked potato and salad. Water. Hot Tea.

1-7-11

Yoga - morning and evening yoga practice, at home.

Gym - Alas. See my 1-6-11 report. Stuff happened, school got out an hour early, the hour I had planned to go to the gym, the morning having been full of getting Emma ready to go back to college and a 2-hour delay for Tess. Then there was snow. Blah, blah, blah. Definitely packing my workout gear for my upcoming trip.

Food -

Breakfast: 2 bananas, 1 cup of black tea.

Lunch: Salad with papaya/poppyseed dressing, avocado, sliced tomato. Water.

Dinner: Vegan potato salad, vegan sesame noodles, blueberries with pomegranate, edamame, and 2 Medjool dates. Water.

Snack: 2 bites of Tess' chocolate eclair from Green Life. Oh, my. 2 more Medjool dates. Cheddar rice crackers. Hot peppermint tea.

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