Linda (Lila) Catherine Wells separated from her well-used body on [July 4, 2046], at the age of 99 (she always said she didn’t want to live to 100) and left it to the [the University of Someplace] in the hope that some young med student can figure out what caused it to quit on her just when it was getting comfortable. Linda was born in Ol’ Virginny but was mostly reared (you raise corn, you rear children) in Iowa, the eldest of five children of her reluctant father Bruce Leroy Wells and her forbearing mother Florence Gertrude Coss, both of whom predeceased her. She is survived by four siblings: her always amusing brother Steven Coss Wells of Flagstaff, AZ; and the Memphis gang: sister Marcia Bruce Wells (who got the good skin), her talented brother Lawrence Roy Wells and the clown prince of the family, brother James Austin Wells. Her niece Catherine Wells Tucker, and nephews Austin [Thomas] Wells and James [Verner] Wells, and their progeny, are still a credit to the family. Linda received her worthless BS in Psychology from Texas A&M University at the age of 35, with the apple of her eye, five-year-old Elizabeth Wells Wood, in tow. While she was at it, she came out of her closet and spent her remaining years as a happy and fulfilled lesbian. She gave ten years to nonprofit fundraising and management before rediscovering her artistic self, spending 1995-2008 in pursuit of several unrealized business and artistic ventures that brought her no money but much satisfaction. In 1997, brave Elizabeth presented her with a perfect grandson, Jacob Austin Wood, always the light of her life. Linda retired at age 62, sold her home, took to the open road in a 19-foot motorhome, changed her name to Lila (Sanscrit, meaning the Cosmic play of the Divine) and started blogging at BeingLila.blogspot.com, where she can still be found, out in the ether. She visited all 50 states before settling in [Podunk], in [2013], where she spent her remaining years contemplating the wonders of Nature and trying to remain in the slip-stream of Cosmic Consciousness where Peace on Earth is all there is. Lila thanks all the friends and family who put up with her for the past [99] years. She looks forward to communing with everyone more easily now, without the constant interference of her unreliable brain, and she wants you to remember that C. S. Lewis said, “You don’t have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.” A moment of celebration will be held at dawn on [July 6, 2046]. Pick your spot.
