Pluralistic ignorance

“In general, when we are unsure of ourselves, when the situation is unclear or ambiguous, when uncertainty reigns, we are most likely to look to and accept the actions of others as correct.” -Robert Cialdini, Influence: Science and Practice

The man was lying on the sidewalk face down. Even from a block away I could see that he was badly hurt. It was 8:00 in the morning, rush hour in Seattle, and I watched as the other morning commuters stepped around him, pretending not to see him, scurrying towards their day and away from this man in need. No one stopped!

He was in his early thirties, dressed for work in a yellow oxford shirt, grey jacket and slacks, his blond hair still wet with that freshly combed look even though he was writhing face down on a city street. He was semi conscious and vomiting blood. His backpack, still on his back, heaved up and down as he tried in vain to press himself off the pavement.

I dialed 911 and the dispatcher asked me to hold as he connected me to emergency. Either because I had stopped or because I’d opened my phone, the passing commuters, without exception (there were five in rapid succession) spoke: “Are you taking care of this?” “Are you dialing 911?” and my personal favorite, “You got this one?” Apparently, there were scores of people collapsed and bleeding on the streets of Seattle this morning. They spoke but never broke stride.

He’d collapsed in front of a Starbucks. As the dispatcher told me that “it” had already been called in, a man came out of the Starbucks carrying three carefully balanced cups of coffee. “I called it already,” he said as he started down the street, taking one more look, “Man, he’s really bad.”

Our eyes met. This stranger that had dialed 911 and then stepped inside for coffee; we shared a look of disbelief and fear. He stopped, gingerly set his coffees on the sidewalk and joined me at the man’s side. “Not much we can do. They ought to be here any second,” he said. I looked at him. We waited, silent.

What was going on here? Psychologists call this “pluralistic ignorance.” It has two aspects: 1) in a crowd we abdicate responsibility because we think someone else will take care of it. 2) when we don’t know what to do we look around for clues; if everyone else is stepping over this guy it must not be an emergency.

Pluralistic ignorance is a nice term for something that feels really bad because, at its root, it includes a decision to pretend. It’s a group lie.

When I first saw the man writhing on the pavement I wanted someone else to stop before I got there. I didn’t want to be the one to get messy. I thought, “Why is this mine to do?” Later I realized that the intense judgment I felt towards everyone stepping over that man came because I wanted to do what they were doing. I wanted to say to some one else, “You got this one?”

Abdicating responsibility never feels good because it surfaces two paradoxical but equally disturbing thoughts: 1) “I’m glad that’s not me!” and, 2) “What if that was me?” We have to push both questions to the back of the closet if we are to carry on with our day. Both are the acknowledgement of impotency. Both are agreements with reduction.

In Influence, Robert Cialdini tells us that, if you are the person collapsing to the pavement, the best thing you can do is: “to isolate one individual from the crowd: speak and point directly at the person and no one else: ‘you sir, in the blue jacket, I need your help.’” (Cialdini, 113). Forge a link. Cause a relationship to happen. Looking into the eyes short-circuits the group lie and makes impossible the abdication of responsibility. It is a simple thing but imagine the monumental change possible in our society if forging a link were the rule and not the exception. Or, stated another way: imagine if you knew without doubt that, if you needed help, every member of your community would put down their list and run to your aid. They’d make it their responsibility to assist you in any way possible.

I suspect my man collapsed before he had the opportunity to make a direct appeal to the humanity of anyone. He did not have time to isolate an individual. In collapsing he isolated himself (more than usual).

The ambulance arrived. My fellow witness rebalanced his coffee stack, and stepped back into the commute. Me too. We were careful not to look into each other’s eyes.

-David Robinson

Comments

[jasmine]

i think ur story was very good, but we as citizens are kinda obligated to help other people in distress. so what if noone elses does. it all starts with one act of kindness at a time. u started that! You should feel very good about your self i personally think.
I am a college student researching pluralistic ignorance. Thank you for sharing this story!